This guide is for people who want real friendships, not followers. It covers where to find people worth knowing, how to turn a first message into something that lasts, and what to expect along the way. See also how Introvrs handles the matching side of this.
Get early access
Why Online Friendship Works (When It's Done Right)
Online friendship has a few advantages that in-person connection doesn't. You can find people who share your specific values and interests — not just whoever happens to live near you. You can communicate asynchronously, which removes the pressure of real-time performance. And you can be more honest, because the distance creates a kind of safety.
The problem is that most platforms aren't designed for friendship. They're designed for engagement — likes, followers, reach. Those incentives actively work against depth. The key is choosing environments that are structured for genuine connection.
Where to Make Friends Online
Friendship-First Apps
Introvrs is built specifically for 1-on-1 platonic connection. It matches on values, life stage, and shared interests — not location, not photos. Conversations are asynchronous, so you reply when you're ready. It's the closest thing to a friendship app that's designed from the ground up for people who want depth.
Bumble BFF uses the same swipe format as dating apps, adapted for friendship. It's popular, which means a large user base — but the photo-first format and real-time chat can feel high-stakes.
Interest-Based Communities
Discord servers organized around specific interests — books, games, mental health, creative writing — are one of the best places to find like-minded people online. The channel structure makes it easy to participate at whatever level feels right. Lurk first, then jump in when you have something to say.
Reddit communities like r/Introverts, r/MakingFriends, and r/SocialAnxiety are explicitly built around connection and shared experience. They're text-based, low-stakes, and massive — which means someone out there shares your exact situation.
Hobby-Based Platforms
Goodreads (books), Letterboxd (film), and Strava (fitness) all have social layers built in. Friendships that start from a shared passion tend to be stronger than ones that start from nothing. Comment on someone's review. Follow someone who keeps recommending books you love. Reach out.
How to Start a Conversation Online
The most common mistake is a generic opener: "Hey," "How are you," or "I saw your profile and thought it was cool." These invite nothing. Instead:
Be specific. "I noticed you mentioned X — I've been thinking about that too. What made you interested in it?" is infinitely better than "hi."
Ask something open-ended. Questions that can be answered with one word kill conversations. Ask about the why or the how behind something.
Share something genuine. Vulnerability is what turns an exchange into a conversation. You don't need to overshare — just be real.
How to Turn a First Message Into a Real Friendship
The hard part isn't starting — it's continuing. Most online conversations fade because neither person takes the initiative to deepen them. A few things that help:
Follow up on things they mentioned. If they mentioned a book they were reading last week, ask how it was. This signals that you were actually listening.
Move to a stable platform. An app you both check regularly is better than one you might stop using. If a connection feels real, suggest moving to email or a messaging app you both use.
Be honest about your pace. If you're someone who takes a few days to respond, say so. It removes the anxiety of waiting and sets realistic expectations. Most people who are looking for genuine friendship will appreciate the honesty.
Ask to meet, when it feels right. Online friendships are real, but many deepen significantly once you've met in person — even once. A video call or eventually meeting up is worth considering once you've built enough trust.
What Online Friendship Can't Replace
Online connection is real. But it's not a full substitute for the texture of in-person time together. If you find yourself relying entirely on online relationships to meet your social needs, it might be worth exploring whether in-person friendship strategies could complement what you're building online.
That said, for people in remote areas, with chronic illness, with social anxiety, or in phases of life where local options are limited — online friendship isn't a consolation prize. It can be exactly what you need.
FAQs About Making Friends Online
Can you make real friends online?
Yes. Online friendships can be just as real and meaningful as in-person ones. Many strong friendships start online and deepen over time, sometimes transitioning to in-person meetups. The key is finding platforms where people are genuinely invested in connection, not just accumulating followers.
What is the best platform to make friends online?
The best platform depends on what you're looking for. For deep 1-on-1 friendship based on shared values and personality, Introvrs is built specifically for that. For interest-based community, Discord servers or subreddits work well. For local friendships, Meetup or Bumble BFF are options.
How do I start a conversation with someone online?
Reference something specific from their profile or a shared interest. Ask an open-ended question rather than something with a one-word answer. Keep it light at first, and let the conversation find its natural depth.
Is it safe to make friends online?
Generally yes, with common-sense precautions. Use platforms with some moderation. Keep personal details private early on. Trust your instincts — if something feels off, it's okay to disengage.